Friday, April 1, 2011

Conversations I won't be having

I have no problem admitting that I wanted a girl. I was convinced that C was a girl, only to be corrected by my ultrasound tech at my 5-month scan. M and F were no surprise. My doctor did tell me that F was a girl and three pinkalicious weeks went by before my dreams of tutus were shattered forever by a more accurate scan.

While I had always dreamt of tea parties, ballet classes and lengthy shopping sessions, I wouldn't trade my boys for anything. Things may be a little dirtier, a little smellier and a little louder, but we have a ball.

Since I am not planning on getting pregnant anytime soon, or ever again for that matter, I occasionally find myself pining for a girl. When these pangs rise up, I think of a few things that, as the mother of all boys, I'll never have to do (bra fittings, shaving lessons, monthly hormonal surges). This is a double-edged sword because it can also take me into "things I'll never get to do" territory (prom dress shopping, wedding dress shopping, lots of other shopping). A safer way is to think of the awkward conversations I get to avoid.

Any parent will tell you that the job is full of difficult conversations. If I think back to some of the sticky topics that my mother and I broached, the worst ones were all related to my gender. Since I know that I won't have to hit those down the line, I shouldn't have it quite so bad!

Here are just a few of the conversations that I will never have to have:

- Keep Your Legs Crossed: Wear A Skirt With Class
- Welcome to Menstruation: Riding the Crimson Wave for the Next 45 Years
- Tampons: A Beginners Guide
- Makeup: How Not To Look Like A Tramp
- Keep Your Clothes On: Celebrities Aren't The Only Ones Whose Naughty Pics Hit The Internet

Just to be safe, I'll probably will touch on that last one with my boys.

I am sure that I will have my fair share of awkward conversations in the years to come. Don't think for a second that I won't be hitting the major ones: sex, drugs and the long-term ramifications of following a bad fashion trend (you early 90s kids know what I am talking about and boys were not exempt).

But next time I am a little sad that there are no ballet shoes or Cabbage Patch dolls in my house, I'll remind myself that I will never have to convince my daughter that the prom dress she loves is going to haunt her fashion record forever or the wedding dress she has her eye on isn't going to happen because it costs more than my car.

So you tell me, what is the most awkward conversation you have had to have with your child? Or if your kids are still to young, what is the conversation you are most dreading?

1 comment:

  1. Just think of all the conversations you WILL get to have....such as "talk to your father..."