Friday, May 21, 2010

The puddle

When you have three children, you tend to miss things. That is my defense for this particular story.

After changing C into his pull-up yesterday, I sat down to feed the baby. A few feet away, C said, "It's wet, Mama."

Assuming that he was referring to the ground outside, I continued to focus on the baby. A moment later, I noticed that C was jumping around and I turned to take a closer look, just expecting him to be doing a little dance or something.

But, alas, his pull-up had leaked and formed a small puddle of pee on the tile floor. He thought that this was just another puddle and started to jump in it, like he would if it were just another puddle.

After cleaning him off and disinfecting my floors (the little pee footprints went all the way down the hallway), I was finally able to laugh at what had just happened.

I know that this is destined to become one of the stories that I tell to embarrass him in his teen years.

Monday, May 17, 2010


They don't exist. If you meet a mom who claims to have perfect kids, she is either lying or she is in some serious denial. All kids misbehave from time to time - some more than others, but no kid is perfect and there is definitely no such thing as a perfect mother.

The woman who claims to be a supermom - organized, relaxed, perfectly coiffed and stain-free all while juggling her children, job and home without any snags or worries - is probably spiking her morning coffee with whiskey and Xanax.

I am all for being organized, relaxed, perfectly coiffed and stain-free, but I will admit the trials and tribulations I endured to get there!

Monday, May 10, 2010

Mother's Day: better every year

First off, I would like to wish all of the mamas a belated Happy Mother's Day! My day was just too precious to interrupt with a sit-down at my computer to write a post.

Now to my post. Mother's Day is truly great. There is nothing like Mother's Day when you are pregnant, knowing that next year will not just be a drill. There is nothing like your first real Mother's Day, looking at that tiny face that doesn't have a clue what the day means to you. There is nothing like the first Mother's Day that your child comes running in to the bedroom to wake you up with a kiss.

Now I imagine there will come a year when my children are annoyed by Mother's Day. I can anticipate that there will be arguments with my boys about getting dressed up for brunch with their grandparents and crankiness when they don't want to get up early (10:00 a.m.) to go to brunch. Having my boys so quickly means that I will have three teenagers on my hands for a condensed period of time, which will may alter my Mother's Day for a time.

But, someday, they will see the point of the day. To appreciate the woman that gave them life. While they don't appreciate or even understand it now, they at least revel in my happiness, being the easy-to-please small children they are.

In the midst of my Mother's Day, which included a diner breakfast, laying around the house, making homeade pizzas with the kids, cuddling with a snoozing baby and reading magazines (all favorite activites of mine), I did take some time to think about how much I love and appreciate my mother. If I do my job well (like she did), they too will stop and think about their mother on Mother's Day. Granted, it will be years after the bitching and moaning about getting dressed up for brunch has ceased.

Friday, May 7, 2010

Where the time goes

When you talk to moms, particularly of the grandmother variety, they will constantly tell you how quickly the time passes. Prior to having children, you will shrug and wonder how quickly it could possibly go, maybe it goes faster for older people.

I am here to tell you that they are so right!

The day-to-day may pass slowly, but one day you will be cleaning up after your 3-year-old and find a picture of him as a newborn and you will have to steady yourself as you desperately try to remember when he was ever that small.

I, personally, think that you get lost in some kind of diaper-changing time warp.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Spanx: nowhere for the food to go

A necessary evil of the postpartum state is some kind of stomach sucky-holdy-in device. I am a big fan of Spanx. These put grannie panties to shame in their size and they are impenetrable. If Kevlar designed undergarments, Spanx is what you would get.

While they easily shave inches off your waistline (once you get into them, which can take some time), I don't recommend eating a large meal in Spanx. I was caught off-guard by an unexpectedly large meal that put my Spanx to the test. And guess what? In all of their sucky-holdy-in glory, Spanx don't leave you any room for food!!!! By the time you get to a place where you can take them off, you feel like a stuffed sausage or a hot dog (the kind in a natural casing that snaps when you pierce it).

So, the lesson here is: Spanx are great, but a large meal in Spanx, not so great.

Hmmm, maybe if I wear Spanx all of the time, I'll just stop eating large meals, which would ultimately eradicate the need for Spanx. Too bad I love food too much for that particular approach!