Carcation

Definition: the miniature vacation that occurs when you get to drive in your car without your children.

When there are kids in the car, the radio stays low, the music is usually child-oriented, there is a lot of buckling and usually some screaming. Even if they are all asleep, they are still there and you have to be aware of them.

A car trip without the kids can be like a little getaway. I put on very loud, very non-child-friendly music. I sing. I dance. I go crazy (while still being a responsible driver). If I am not in the mood for music, I can drive in silence. Complete silence. Like a spa, only without the masseuse and gurgling fountain.

I don't get to be by myself very much, so I take advantage of time on my own whenever I can.

Solo car trips are a treat for me. I don't think my husband understands this, but I know that all of you other child-haulers get what I am saying.

Never underestimate the recuperative potential of a car trip on your own.

Momiform

Definition: the uniform worn by mothers making it possible to identify them from a distance, even when their children are not present.

The momiform of old consisted of "mom" jeans, a t-shirt, athletic shoes and a scrunchie.

Looming around shopping centers and elementary schools, you will notice a bevy of women in yoga pants, tank tops (a hoodie if the weather deems it appropriate) and large sunglasses. This is the momiform of the new generation of mothers.

The classic momiform can still be spotted. But it is becoming the stuff of legends. Like Bigfoot and UFOs, they are seen from time to time. Mothers rocking the classic momiform are beyond fashion's reach and probably still wear a double-breasted blazer with shoulder pads on occasion.

Those that don the new, more hip momiform are still capable of wearing non-elastic pants when they step outside of their motherly duties.

Mom-terpretation

Definition: the ability to understand a toddler who is barely speaking.

Each toddler speaks his or her own language and you, as their mother, can understand a good chunk of their mumblings.

While a bystander might hear "Dasa um nok," you hear "Pardon me mother, but I would like some more milk when you can spare a moment to refill my bottle. Thank you so much. You are very kind and beautiful." Okay, that's probably not the correct translation. It's probably something like "You -- mom-person! Get me more milk NOW!!!!"

See? I am a mom-terpreter!

Simul-napping

Definition: all of your children napping at once. Very rarely found in nature.

You don't really appreciate a quiet house until there is someone else controlling the noise level.

I have become skilled at the art of packing four hours of kid-free activities into the one or two hours of sleeping bliss that I get on the very rare occasion that I am blessed with overlapping naps.

Today brought an hour-and-a-half of simul-napping. In that time I:
-ran three reports for work
-purged the toybox
-reclaimed a corner of my kitchen that has been drowning in papers and random household items for months
-dusted
-watched a back episode of a favorite TV show that has been on my DVR since March
-wrote this blog post

Try to use this new word in a sentence today!